ADHD and surprising symptoms that show up under corporate employment

For anyone with ADHD there's a special summary at the end)

I’ve spent a fair bit of time over the last year or so finding out more about what it means to have adhd leading up to my diagnosis a few weeks ago. It's made me reflect on my time in consulting especially and the things I think I find more challenging which I don't tend to see my neurotypical colleagues struggle with. I thought I'd share here in case anyone else has had a similar experience. 

1. Rejection sensitivity dysphoria - I've felt myself affected by this in a couple of different ways. Firstly, I find rolling off (ending) projects hard. I really do feel the rejection of a client not extending a role even though logically I know it's all fine and part of the normal process. Secondly, biannual performance reviews. I've realised over the years that I don't sleep for about a month leading up to these. It's not something I remember feeling when I had a job in industry and I think the difference is that in consulting it's a room full of all the departments leadership talking about every single person. I struggle with the thought of people talking about me and getting feedback but also I worry about representing my advisees (colleagues who I performance manage) fairly and really feel that sense of responsibility to do a good job for them.

2. Increased sense of justice - this is a fascinating part of neurodiversity and reflecting on it I think this really affects neurodiverse people working in consulting. That icky feeling if you don't feel like you've delivered the right amount of value that week (even though you logically know that you have over time) or trying to relax a bit during a quiet week. Throughout my time in consulting I've struggled with the day rate and knowing how much clients are spending everyday and worried about not delivering enough. For me I think this comes back to the sense of justice.

3. Attention span and wanting to get involved in everything! Bit of an obvious one but I definitely see this in myself and other neurodiverse colleagues when trying to narrow down options of what to get involved in internally. In any other job you just have a single job, whilst in consulting you have 3 - client, commercial and internal/people. Everything seems really interesting whether it's training, DEI, social etc and it's hard to choose. What tends to happen is that we overcommit and then struggle to hand stuff over when we realise that we've overdone it and burn out as we're so worried about the rejection of not doing a good enough job... This is also a superpower for ADHDers in consulting due to the great variety of projects and also the rare state of 'maintaining' workloads.  

4. Masking. For me this has felt especially strong in consulting feeling like I have to always put on a front. It's a very extroverted profession in general, running workshops, holding big meetings etc so is definitely not in the introverted or neurodiverse wheelhouse. I'm still figuring out how to unmask and this is going to take a considerable amount of time

5. Overstimulation - No idea how we ever worked in the office 5 days per week! I find half a day now is enough to exhaust me for the week with the noice, people and crowded desks. I'm also so glad that extensive consulting travel seems to be a thing of the past now and have no idea how I ever coped (well, I didn't, see burnout blogs...)

ADHD summary:

I've found the lesser talked about symptoms of adhd have affected me more working in consulting than the common attention issues:

1. Rejection sensitivity dysphoria - feeling the rejection of rolling off projects and the fear of constructive feedback and being talked about in banding

2. Increased sense of justice - ickiness of not feeling like you're delivering the value of your day rate every single day

3. Attention span and wanting to get involved in everything! Trying to choose what to do internally, taking on too much, not wanting to let people down, struggling to hand stuff over. 

4. Masking - constantly putting on a front to deliver what the client needs

5. Overstimulation - dealing with the crowded and noisy office environment plus travelling to client sites.

I'd love to hear if anyone else feels this and how people deal with these areas and and tips and tricks for getting through. 

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