Anxiety - How to calm down during an anxiety episode

I've suffered with anxiety for 15 years now and I'm only just figuring out how to get through it and regulate myself. What I want to share here is how to get through it in the moment, what works for me. I'm a big advocate for longer term solutions though and not just dealing with the feelings as they happen.

My anxiety started during a time of upheaval and I wish I had therapy at that time to get to the proper root causes - I'm only just doing this now and psychotherapy, EMDR and biodynamic massage are really helping. This post will set out some of things I find help alevitate the anxiety in the moment to get back to a regulated state - I hope it helps you as well!

Move

• Shaking and bouncing are proven to regulate the nervous system. Get up and shake it out!

• Walk, walk, walk! This is my sanity saviour and has been for years. Whatever is going on you can always walk it out. It doesn't need to be long, just 20 minutes or so (or as long as you want!), in nature if you have some around and feel safe but just moving will help.

• Dance party! I'm a big Grey's Anatomy fan (don't judge me!) and their habit to dance it out is great advice. Put on a tune and dance, jump, headbang and you'll feel better.

• Yoga - I'm just starting out with the yoga the last few months but really enjoying being in my body for half an hour a day. What I struggle with is being kind to myself - it's very easy to judge yourself for not bending that way or for extra wobbly bits which the instructors never have...be kind to yourself and stretch it out!

Write

• Journal - I write in mine every night. Some days it's just updates/events and other days full flow of thoughts and feelings. Just getting the thoughts out onto the page helps processing same as talking it through.

• They say that you can't be anxious and grateful at the same time - get your gratitude on! Add 3 things you're grateful for to your journal entry to shift your mindset. Do also add a moment of joy you've had during the day as well - this will over time help shift your mind to focus more on the positive.

• CBT it - cognitive behavioural therapy - sets out that over time we can shift our mindset from anxiety to something more positive. As part of your writing set out what you're anxious about, how you feel, an alternative way of looking at the event you're anxious about and other potential outcomes to the one you're worrying about (more on CBT in a future post)

• Make a plan! Can you take some action to help with what's worrying you? Not always the case I know but if there is then making a plan and taking action can be helpful

• Visualise that you're giving advice to a friend about what's worrying you. It can be really helpful to get a new perspective. Just make sure you really listen to the advice that you give 'your friend'!

Drink

• No, not a glass of wine - sorry! Alcohol only makes manxiety* worse sadly. In Swedish we even have a word for the anxiety you get along with your hangover 'Fylleångest' (drunken anxiety).

• Hot drinks - get your hands round a big cup of hot comforting tea - chamomile if you have it, hot chocolate with all the toppings even better!

• I find that staying away from caffeine really helps but I'm quite sensitive - could be worth a try though.

*typo but I'm leaving it as I'm sure anxiety about men is a thing as well 😂. Copyright!

Breath

• Box breathing - in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4. Not a favourite of mine to be honest as I get a bit anxious holding but it's proven to work so see if you like it.

• Old favourite - in for 4, out for 6. Your nervous system calms when you breath out for longer than you breath in so give this a go and make sure it's down to your belly.

• There are loads of breathing excersies on apps, YouTube etc so try them out and see what works.

• Meditative breathing. I love this one from Thic Nhat Hanh:

Meditation Poem (On breathing)

From The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching, by Thich Nhat Hanh (pronounced Tick-Not-

Han)

The fourth element of our body is air. The best way to experience the air element is the practice of mindful breathing. “Breathing in, I know I am breathing in. Breathing out, I know I am breathing out.” After saying these sentences we can abbreviate them by saying “In” as we breathe in and “Out” as we breathe out. We don’t try to control our breathing. Whether our in-breath is long or short, deep or shallow, we just breathe naturally and shine the light of mindfulness on it. When we do this we notice that, in fact, our breathing does become slower and deeper naturally. “Breathing in, my in-breath has become deep. Breathing out, my out-breath has become slow.” Now we can practice, “Deep/slow.” We don’t have to make an extra effort. It just become deeper and slower by itself, and we recognize that.

Later on, you will notice that you have become calmer and more at ease. “Breathing in, I feel calm. Breathing out I feel at ease. I am not struggling anymore. Calm/ease.” And then, “Breathing in, I smile. Breathing out, I release all my worries and anxieties. Smiles/release.’ We are able to smile to ourselves and release all our worries. There are more than three hundred muscles in our face, and when we know how to breathe in and smile, these muscles can relax. This is “mouth yoga.” We smile and are able to release all our feelings and emotions. The last practice is, “Breathing in, I dwell deeply in the present moment. Breathing out, I know this is a wonderful moment. Present moment/wonderful moment.” Nothing is more precious than being in the present moment fully alive and aware.

“In, out

Deep, slow

Calm, ease

Smile, release

Present moment, wonderful moment." 😍

Know

• Easier said than done in the moment but know that the anxiety is temporary - no emotions last for long and it will pass like everything else.

• That you are not your emotions! Anxiety is just an emotion and it doesn't define you, it doesn't control you.

Acknowledge

• Label your feeling, say hi to it (if you don't feel too silly doing that), name it and acknowledge that it's just an emotion.

• In Acceptace Committment Therapy (ACT) the theory is that we should acknowledge the feeling and accept if the thing that's making us anxious is out of our control. Again, easier said than done and I can't say that this has worked for me so far but I'll keep trying to accept what I cannot control.

Ground

• Bring it back to your body. Much like the breathing, being in our bodies is a way to still the mind. Doing a body scan to check in with your body head to toe can be a useful tool to bring you back into the present moment and out of your head.

• 5:4:3:2:1 Grounding exercise - I find this really helps! Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. This will bring you into the present by tuning into your senses.

Listen

• There is evidence that music can have a strong effect on our emotions and can help calm anxiety. Check out this article and link inside to a suggested playlist. My therapist shared this with me and the playlist is really helpful (apart from that it should be listened to in order and you need a Spotify account, which I don't, to take it off shuffle).

• It's proven that the sound of waves activates our parasympathetic nervous system (the one that calms us) so if you're not close to the ocean get on YouTube or other apps and get your waves on.

Talk

• Have you got someone you can talk it out with? If so, sharing may help. Even if your worries feel insane (I know mine do most of the time). If you have someone you trust who can talk you down, go for it!

• Play 'worst case scenario'. I'm also a big fan of This is us and love the game Randall and his wife play where they come up with the most ridiculous worst case scenario for what they're worried about. Getting a bit silly with it will help!

• Repeating affirmations (positive statements) can really help during an anxiety episode. There are loads out there so pick what works and they might include: "I am brave", "I trust myself to handle any situation", "I do the best I can", "I chose positive and nurturing thoughts" etc.

Meditate

• I'm still learning this skill and struggle with sitting meditations but I do seem to be slowly getting better at attaching an event or thought to my anxiety through mindfulness. Being in the present, being conscious of your thoughts will help over time identify what you're anxious about.

This is not a complete list at all and some things may work one day and not the next but give it a try and see what works for you! Do share in comments anything I might have missed 😊