Lifestyle - Finding your ikigai (reason for being)

With this time off I've taken from work, I though I might as well try to figure out my 'reason for being' as well as trying to sort out my messed up brain - why not right?!

So, for me, I don't see my purpose as 'the meaning of life'. I believe that we are animals, like all others, who are too intelligent for our own good but are essentially here as part of an ecosystem to procreate and die. Maybe a bit depressing to some but I think this is really liberating! We are here for a short period of time and can choose what we do with our lives (truer for some than others; acknowledging privilege in all its forms). So when I think of purpose, I think of what will make me fulfilled and happy during my short time here.

So what's ikigai? Reading the book in the picture above (How to ikigai, by Tim Tamashiro) he describes Ikigai as synonymous with purpose and referring to the well-known Venn diagram which sets out 4 key questions to ask yourself when working out your purpose:

1. What do I love?

2. What am I good at?

3. What does the world need?

4. What can I be rewarded for?

Researching this a bit further this appears to be a westernised interpretation of ikigai which is more about entrepreneurship - both are fine of course, but from what I understand the Japanese origins are more beautiful and simpler:

The word ‘ikigai’ is usually used to indicate the source of value in one’s life or the things that make one’s life worthwhile (for example, one might say: ‘‘This child is my ikigai’’). Secondly, the word is used to refer to mental and spiritual circumstances under which individuals feel that their lives are valuable. There is a difference between ikigai and the sense of well-being. Ikigai is a more concerned with the future: for example, even when one feels that one’s present life is dark, possessing a desire or goal for the future allows one to feel ikigai.

Ikigai gives individuals a sense of a life worth living. It is not necessarily related to economic status.

Ikigai is personal; it reflects the inner self of an individual and expresses that faithfully.

It establishes a unique mental world in which the individual can feel at ease.

- Noriyuki Nakanishi, Department of Public Health, Osaka University Medical School, '"Ikigai" in older Japanese people". 

What this book does do well though is setting out a general framework for happiness and how to find this and really bigs up the 'weirdos' out there living their best, unorthodox lives - this I can get on board with as a nonconformist!

What also resonated with me was this quote from the book: "You are not your job. You are your work. Work is what you do on purpose. The result is a more meaningful you. You are your work." This rings so true, especially during this period of self discovery and realisation - we should always be working on ourselves!

So, for this blog I'm going to ignore the latter two points of what the world needs and making money and focus on what brings joy. The book does give some good pointers in starting out with those first two questions of what you love and are good at and advises to focus on:

• That you are your work and that a growth mindset is key

• Taking your pleasure seriously

• Following the clues - when you find things you enjoy, do them, they will lead you to more!

Investigating me & Following the clues

Starting with these things in mind I went about making lists of what I love doing and what I'm good at. I've not asked others to contribute at this point so I'm going by my own (biased?) view of myself. Ideally you'd check in with your friends, family, coworkers, lover(s) 😉 to get a better view

Things I love:

• Walking

• Swimming

• Reading

• Travelling

• Exploring

• Mentoring/coaching

• Problem solving

• Eating

Things I'm good at:

• Problem solving

• Mediating

• Organising

• Planning

• Eating

• Walking

• Teaching/advising

That gave me some good ideas of what overlaps between those to lists but I wanted to go a bit further. So, I decided to make a list of all my jobs since university and what I loved/hated about each one and if there were any common threads. This was actually a really interesting exercise and I'd recommend trying it out!

Starting with my first job in an energy company call centre (I spent more time studying than applying for jobs in my final year at uni...), through to being a director at a management consultancy. I realised I hate monotony, secretariat duties and sales - with a passion - and I value people over profit. What I have loved through all my jobs though is learning, mentoring/advising, finding creative solutions (not necessarily implementing them myself though), mediating and close working relationships.

I then went on to check this against my Gallup Strength Finder results - a great tool, like other personality tests, which sets out your key strengths. I did this as part of my development at work but you can buy your own book for about £4 (used) and do the survey. My top strength is Relator (proper superhero name! 😂) which resonates with the close working relationships that I value. This is followed by Responsibility (I hold integrity in very high regard but probably didn't help with the burnout...); Activator (getting sh*t done); Intellection (gathering information and (over)thinking) and finally Ideation (love a good problem to solve!).

In the current corporate world we spend so much time focussing on our development areas. We should be focussing much more on our strengths! When we work within our strengths (and values) we are happier, less anxious and require less energy to do a really good job - win, win, win! Figuring out your strengths and putting these alongside what you love and what your good at should then provide a winning combination!

Going back to the Ikigai book (which I really enjoyed by the way), the author uses simple terms to define ikigai - his, for example, is to delight (he's an entertainer). He also gives a long list of other terms for readers to consider which is really useful e.g. teach, heal, care, produce, entertain, lead.

What's my ikigai?

Using this terminology, the first word that popped into my head for me was: to resolve. I love a problem to solve, finding creative solutions, finding a commonly agreed position = resolving. Through all the therapy I'm having I do realise that my need to resolve comes from having a narcissistic parent who I felt the need to placate constantly but that's a whole other blog and mindf*ck! I like to solve problems 😊

I then reflected on this and speaking to my therapist (yes, I'm apparently one of those 'my therapist says' people now...) realised the other common thread - to inspire! I feel at my happiest when I'm helping others grow, teaching, mentoring, advising, coaching. So, I'm going for a double ikigai - to resolve and to inspire.

When I look at my current job this also really rings true! I love solving the problems that our clients have and helping them implement solutions and also feel my best helping my advisees and team members grow and develop. What I do know though is that my current job, as is, is not sustainable (see burnout blog) and something has to give. Knowing my ikigai(s) is now really helping figure out my next move. I'll share more about this in a later blog once things work through - watch this space!

The author recommends a couple of ideas to then take the ikigai forward: start doing something part time and taking an ikigai gap year (again, got to acknowledge privilege here and not everyone will have the time, means etc to do this). The ikigai gap year is described as a year to say yes, try new things, do what you love and zero in on that ikigai if you've not found it. Sound great if you can make it happen! Although I've taken some time out, it's been for mental health rather than ikigai so I'm going for the part time option for now while I figure out my work situation - enter blog! The inspire part of my ikigai loves sharing experience and helping others grow so I'm hoping this blog can help do that 😊